Short Story Review – Right Now by Sarah Elizabeth Baethge
This was a good short story once it got going.
The start was a detailed explanation of what the detective agency investigates and why. This was a little boring and it could have been added later once the story had already gripped you.
The actual story plot was very good, it involved a detective agency made up of 2 detectives and a receptionist, they take on a case and in the course of the investigation come upon a man who has been locked away in a shed. They rescue him. This man has been experimented on, he now has the ability to see into the future but it is not perfected and the consequence is that he has forgotten a lot of his past.
This could have been developed into a full length book and would have been better for it.
The investigation itself was never completed.
The writing style is easy to read and I will read more by Sarah but I advice her to re-work this piece as it could be an excellent novel.
Stars 3/5 – I liked it.
adelesymonds 
Thanks for your review!
You are welcome Sarah, please develop this further though as it really would make a great book.
Adele
You are welcome Sarah, but please take my advice in the spirit it was meant, I truly believe this would be an awesome book if you developed it further, and the possibility of it being the start of a series.
Adele
Sure, thanks for the suggestion; as I wrote and Kindled it in about a week, I know it could probably be improved with a bit more time and effort. When I’m not so busy with other things I will definitely give the story more thought. Really, I just needed something I was not so attached to for trying out the supposed ‘wonders’ of KDP-select.
-Sarah
In that case it was very good, keep up the good work hun.
Hi Sarah and Adele, the danger of doing this is that you give readers the impression you’re a slapdash writer who doesn’t care about their reading experience – I know that’s not true, but it’s easy to draw that conclusion for someone who doesn’t understand how writers work and think. Whenever you publish anything, bear in mind the reader’s, not your own needs, otherwise you’ll ruin your writer’s reputation before you’ve even started properly.
Best wishes
Maria
I agree Maria, I think it is a dangerous but brave thing to publish an unpolished piece of writing, but the short story written by Sarah really is excellent in the middle. I would like to see where she can take the story to as the idea is brilliant.
I did a review of one of Sarah’s rather unpolished novels and it was dogged by exactly the same problems. Messy presentation, too. She’s her own worst enemy, bless her, but has great talent as a storyteller. She just lacks the tools to get her story ideas across at present.
I think Sarah is a promising writer who could become very good with the right advice and guidance, I don’t think unsolicited criticism should be thrown her way but constructive criticism when asked to review her work. I would love to read and review more of Sarah’s work. Once Sarah has improved her ability to get the stories from her head to paper she will be able to look back at her earlier work with more objectivity.
Please no more criticism, I think we made our point.
Sarah if you want to talk, e-mail me hun.
Sarah has had constructive criticism from me and just being kind without telling her where she’s going wrong is not going to make her or indeed any writer learn anything. I’ve given her website addresses where she can learn for free and get excellent advice and she has accepted advice like a professional. It is because she is so talented that I bother. Professional writers get critiques thrown their way all the time and most of them will be a lot harsher than mine – a lady with such talent will one day be a professional writer, so she might as well get used to it under “friendlier” circumstances now. Mollycoddling is always bad practice.
Maria,
I understand completely and I am sure Sarah appreciates your comments, help and support, no offence was meant on my part, sorry if You were offended. I agree that Sarah has great potential and good ideas and it is really good that she now has an editor to help her improve and grow in other areas, I look forward to her reaching her full potential, all writers need to learn and need other people to help them learn in a non-judgemental way, as you have obviously been doing. I only meant that this conversation thread had reached its conclusion. Let us see what work she comes up with next.
I hope we can be friends.
Adele
I am honored that both of you take such a interest in my writing, and I do have an editor waiting with a deadline for what I’m writing now. The selling of what I know isn’t perfect was to fit my production budget of nothing. By the selling incomplete unpolished novels at http://www.iwritereadrate.com/ I was able to snag an editor willing to work within my budget.
Other than that, making up and telling stories is fun. Even if I don’t become rich or famous off of it, I see no reason to stop.
Good for you Sarah, I hope everything goes really well for you, and I am not surprised that you have managed to get an editor who is interested in helping you as you have some great ideas. I look forward to reading more books by you.
Adele