writing exercise – fiction: Yesterday I ate a pound of onions by adele symonds

Yesterday I ate a pound of onions.

“Why on earth would I do that?” you ask.

Well, I didn’t eat them all at once.  I had a brand new one pound bag of onions in my fridge at the start of the day.

For breakfast I ate 8 cream crackers with chunks of cheese and slices of onion.  This is delicious, why not try it some time.

At lunchtime I had pasta with sliced peppers, chopped onion, grated cheese and salad cream.

For an afternoon snack I had a sandwich with the filling made from grated cheese, chopped onion and salad cream all mixed together.

For my evening meal I had spaghetti bolognese with plenty of sliced onion thrown in just before it was ready so that it remained crunchy.

Finally for supper I had a ham, onion and tomato sandwich followed by more crackers with cheese and onion.  It was while making this final meal that I realised I had used the whole bag of onions.

How could I eat so many onions in just one day?

Well you see, I am pregnant and onions and cheese seem to be my 2 main cravings.  Unfortunately they have a rather nasty side-effect or two.

Today I have onion breath that no amount of teeth cleaning seems to eradicate and the most embarrassing, I have extreme flatulence which doesn’t smell very pleasant either.

Therefore, I am a fat, stinky, weird, pregnant lady but oh! soooo! happy, so who really cares?

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~ by adelesymonds on June 5, 2012.